Feral

I shiver
and it's
not from a touch
more like an
embrace
from winter itself
as it
begs me
to shed my skin
and let the animal
that's inside
out
as it paces restlessly
around and around,
wearing tracks into lungs
and gnawing on my
rib-cage
and
lashing out
at my heart
every time
my skin is touched
by the chill.
But I don't want to
let it out
just yet -
I don't want you to
see my
silky black fur
just yet -
I don't want to be
part of the
Everett Forest just yet
with all of my friends
who let their
beast out
before I did.
I want to gaze at your
freckled face
a little while longer
when I can still remember
doing it.
I want to see your
green eyes
sparkle
when your
brother brings in the
Christmas tree
before I am
drowned
in all that is wolf
And even when I want to talk
to you,
how will you respond
to my gold-and-navy eyes,
the way I bare my teeth
and snarl
and growl
like the wild animal I am
inside.
So I just sit and
watch you,
in the little
coffee shoppe you
work in,
chest aching
for things that can never
be,
before my bones twist
and my skin sheds,
and I am
once again that
ghost you see,
haunting the edge of the
woods,
whimpering for your
smell of
coffee and smoke
Because even my wolf
wants you.